Good bye summer and hello autumn!
I'm back! I took a little time off from writing my blog and going to WW, but I'm back on the plan ready to go. After my birthday I just lost motivation and really got a little depressed. Luckily I haven't gained any weight, but I haven't lost any either. I had tuned the big 5-0 and now what, I'm 50. So on to the next goals and adventures.
Remember how I wanted to run a half marathon? What was I thinking? First off, I don't like to run. Second, I have a bad knee and fallen arches from doing Foley for a million years so instead I entered a pie contest! You may not think they have a lot in common, but let me point out the similarities. They are both competitions, you get a ribbon if you win, your friends can come and cheer you on, you have to pace yourself...okay those last two might be for a pie eating contest, but the fact is I that I did it! I made my Grandma Golda's Sugar Cream Pie with a Ginger Snap Cookie Crust. It is a perfect combination of flour, sugar, vanilla and cream with a little sprinkle of nutmeg then add a delicious mix of butter and ginger snap cookies. Now what's wrong with that? I made two pies so I could choose which one looked and tasted the best. Plus, then you have a whole pie left to feed to your friends!
What makes someone enter a pie contest you might ask? I got an email from NPR about their 3rd Annual Pie Contest. For $10 I too could enter a pie so I paid the fee and then quite honestly forgot all about it. Two months later I get a reminder (and boy did I need one!) that the contest was this Sunday, September 18, at LACMA. I had no plans so I thought, sure I'll still enter. I had no idea that there would be over 200 pies! There were 5 categories: Cream, Fruit, Savory, Nut and Tim Burton themed. I think the cream had the largest entries . I didn't really tell any of my friends because I didn't think it was that big of a deal, but the ones I told were like, "Sure! We'll be there! Free pie?" Tyson and Bruce and Patsy, Dave and Davis showed up. The judging was between 1pm and 2pm, behind closed quarters and then after that they displayed all the pies. There was a pie for everyone even if you don't like pie. Chocolate peanut butter cream, fresh peach, macadamia nut, tomato, you name it they got it. There was one other pie that was semi similar to mine. It was called a Hoosier Pie, but it tasted more butterscotch than vanilla.
The judging was complete, now the time was near. They started pulling the pies. Would mine be picked in a sea of sugary goodness? The simple answer is no. Mine wasn't chosen, but to be honest I was just happy to enter! The winning pie overall was a good old fashion Apple Pie. After the ribbons were all handed out, the bakers positioned themselves behind their pies to serve them to the public. I was between a woman with a Bee Hive hairdo and a 3rd runner up in the savory category. Hundreds of people slowly perused the selection of pies to get samples. They walked past our pies, reading the descriptions, looking at the beautiful pastry lattice work on some and then they just kept on walking. This was worse than the pie competition! Finally, when some of the other pies were gone we started getting interest. I could care less if you like my pie, I just didn't want to lug it home!
All in all, it was a great experience. I'm already thinking about what kind of pie I want to make for next year. I may even enter two! I think something with Nutella and then maybe a savory one with bacon. I know, the bacon thing will be over by then, but then again, who doesn't love bacon?
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
One Bad Apple
So my birthday came and went. I didn't wake up on the 11th and suddenly feel old and useless and I certainly did not turn into a pillar of salt! I have wonderful friends to thank for ushering me in into this new decade of my life. Thank you very much, I am grateful for your kindness and friendship. I'm also grateful for the donations that were made in my name to the "ipad" fund and foundation! Yes folks, I'm getting an ipad. When they first came out I must admit I thought the ipad was an ifade, but the more isee the more ilike!
I couldn't decide which one to get 3G or just Wi-Fi, 32 GB or 64 GB? Black or White? So many choices. After much consideration and research from John and Kyle, my Apple adviser's, I decided on the 64 Wi-Fi only model. I can use a "Hot Spot" form my Droid and use it on the ipad and my laptop so that's why I decided no to get the 3G. I planned my trip to the Apple store so I could make my purchase and hang out with all the cool people who either want to be in the ipad club or who are in the ipad club. Little did I know, this is a club that is really hard to get into to even when you have the initiation fees! I first wanted to exchange the cover I received with my gift certificate. It was gray and I wanted to return it for a pink one. Since I didn't have the receipt I grabbed the first "Apple Associate" I came in contact with so they didn't think I just grabbed it off the wall stuck it in my purse and then tried to exchange it. This is how I think, like I'm always guilty. For those of you unfamiliar with the Apple store, even when it's most crowded, they still have more people working there than customers. The recession has not taken a bite out of Apple! So I grab the first guy, let's call him "Joe" and I pull the cover out of my purse and tell him I like to exchange it. "Have you opened it?" he asks, like I'm trying to get away with something. "No, I haven't opened it." he then wants to know what color I would like to get, because, you know, they don't have all the colors in stock. I say pink. Okay, he says and we make our way over to the floor Manager. Joe says "She wants to exchange this" the manger inquires "Have you opened it?" again, like I'm guilty of something. "No, I have not!" As we're standing there I see what color options I have because behind the Manager are all the covers. I mean ALL the covers. Every color imaginable. So I get my pink cover and Joe just walks away. Doesn't ask if I want anything else? You mean, like an ipad! So I have to say "Hey! Wait a minute! I want to get an ipad!" He seams completely bored, "Which one? The AT&T or Verizon?" I explain that I just want a White 64 GB Wi-Fi only. "Oh, we're out of those." Period. Huh? When will you get more in? Don't know. Can you check at another store? He goes over to the computer pulls up a store list and says, "Why don't you call the Pasadena store and I'll call Glendale." How about you call both! What has happened to customer service? Especially when I'm paying a premium for an Apple product! Well, guess what? No one has just the Wi-Fi version of the ipad. You have to order it on line.So I left the store, my head hanging low and went home so I could order it from the Apple store on line. The beauty of ordering on line, besides not having to deal with Apple Associates, is that I got it engraved! It will say on the back "Alyson Dee Moore" and underneath that it will read "Established 1961" (thanks Shannon!)
So here's what we've learned today. Apple has great products, but lousy service. If you want an ipad just order it on line. And if you're thinking about stealing mine, think again, because I have my name engraved on the back!
I couldn't decide which one to get 3G or just Wi-Fi, 32 GB or 64 GB? Black or White? So many choices. After much consideration and research from John and Kyle, my Apple adviser's, I decided on the 64 Wi-Fi only model. I can use a "Hot Spot" form my Droid and use it on the ipad and my laptop so that's why I decided no to get the 3G. I planned my trip to the Apple store so I could make my purchase and hang out with all the cool people who either want to be in the ipad club or who are in the ipad club. Little did I know, this is a club that is really hard to get into to even when you have the initiation fees! I first wanted to exchange the cover I received with my gift certificate. It was gray and I wanted to return it for a pink one. Since I didn't have the receipt I grabbed the first "Apple Associate" I came in contact with so they didn't think I just grabbed it off the wall stuck it in my purse and then tried to exchange it. This is how I think, like I'm always guilty. For those of you unfamiliar with the Apple store, even when it's most crowded, they still have more people working there than customers. The recession has not taken a bite out of Apple! So I grab the first guy, let's call him "Joe" and I pull the cover out of my purse and tell him I like to exchange it. "Have you opened it?" he asks, like I'm trying to get away with something. "No, I haven't opened it." he then wants to know what color I would like to get, because, you know, they don't have all the colors in stock. I say pink. Okay, he says and we make our way over to the floor Manager. Joe says "She wants to exchange this" the manger inquires "Have you opened it?" again, like I'm guilty of something. "No, I have not!" As we're standing there I see what color options I have because behind the Manager are all the covers. I mean ALL the covers. Every color imaginable. So I get my pink cover and Joe just walks away. Doesn't ask if I want anything else? You mean, like an ipad! So I have to say "Hey! Wait a minute! I want to get an ipad!" He seams completely bored, "Which one? The AT&T or Verizon?" I explain that I just want a White 64 GB Wi-Fi only. "Oh, we're out of those." Period. Huh? When will you get more in? Don't know. Can you check at another store? He goes over to the computer pulls up a store list and says, "Why don't you call the Pasadena store and I'll call Glendale." How about you call both! What has happened to customer service? Especially when I'm paying a premium for an Apple product! Well, guess what? No one has just the Wi-Fi version of the ipad. You have to order it on line.So I left the store, my head hanging low and went home so I could order it from the Apple store on line. The beauty of ordering on line, besides not having to deal with Apple Associates, is that I got it engraved! It will say on the back "Alyson Dee Moore" and underneath that it will read "Established 1961" (thanks Shannon!)
So here's what we've learned today. Apple has great products, but lousy service. If you want an ipad just order it on line. And if you're thinking about stealing mine, think again, because I have my name engraved on the back!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
The Tale of the Pee Green Pinto Station Wagon
I remember when my mother turned fifty. I was eighteen and my sister was twenty-three. My father decided that we should do something really special so he made reservations at the Beverly Hills Hotel for dinner...in the fancy restaurant not the Polo Lounge. It was July of 1979 and my father drove a lime green Ford Pinto Station Wagon with faux wood paneling. It was atrocious and he loved it! Once he was stopped at a red light and the guy in the car next to him recognized him, "Hey! Aren't you that guy from Green Acres?" he yelled across at him. My father was playing it cool and modestly said, "well, yes, I am." The guy then got a confused look on his face and said "Then why are you driving a Pinto?" Classic. We never let him forget it. My sister and I begged my father not to take the Pinto to the Beverly Hills Hotel. We were embarrassed to ride in that car to the supermarket let alone Beverly Hills, but he refused. "They'll get a kick out of it!" he said, trying to persuade us, but we weren't buying it. So we all piled into the green Pinto station wagon, in our fancy clothes with all the birthday presents neatly arranged in a Neiman Marcus shopping bag. At least we could show that we had some taste. We pulled up in the driveway and stopped for the Valet. My sister and I tried to act sophisticated, but it was just so humiliating. If I had paid better attention, I think I would have noticed that only did no one really care, the Valet was really nice and happily drove the car as far away as I'm sure he possibly could have! So off we go in to the beautiful lobby of the Beverly Hills Hotel, each step me and my sister are shedding the Pinto vibe and walking just a little bit more confident now that the car is safely out of eye shot. We arrive at the restaurant and it is old classic Beverly Hills. The maitre'd was at the door and welcomed us into a very elegant dining room. Obviously, he did not see what we drove up in because he treated us like royalty. He grabbed the Neiman Marcus bag and led us into the room. I think it was done in pale pink with a big circular booth in the center that sectioned in four separate booths each facing out into the main room. This was where you sat to see and be seen. Again, we were feeling pretty special as he sat us down at one of these booths. Just as we got to the booth the Neiman Marcus bag with all our beautifully wrapped gifts made a terrific ripping sound and tore apart like a trailer in a tornado, cascading the gifts all over the floor. We froze, all eyes upon us as. Did I have a sign on my head that read "Arrived in pee green Pinto"? The maitre'd didn't skip a beat, "Neiman Marcus?" he said, as if "I can't believe Neiman Marcus makes such crappy bags!" After that, we settled in and had the most wonderful meal. It was special, like what a 50th birthday should be. We were having such a great time that I couldn't care less what sort of transportation brought me here. We all walked out feeling rich in so many ways. Rich in family, rich in memories and rich in thought as we waited for the Valet to get the car, juggling the presents in our arms, surrounded by Rolls Royce, Mercedes, BMWs and the like. Then up come the Pinto. As the Valet got out of the car he said to my dad, "Hey Man! Do you have a Rolls Royce engine in this car because it drives like a dream!" And there you have it. Happy Birthday to my dad, who's birthday wasn't until December, but it totally made his year. We laughed the whole way home and I still get a chuckle when I think about the sincere look on that guys face that he thought someone who had a lot money would buy a crappy Pinto Station Wagon and put a Rolls Royce engine in it. God bless him and my dad for giving us so much to laugh about.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
50 Random Thoughts
I thought I would celebrate my 50 years on this earth with 50 random thoughts about what I've learned. Here goes...
1. Be kind, especially to yourself.
2. There are always two sides to every story.
3. Being raised by "carnie folk" wasn't so bad.
4. Be patient with your parents.
5. Home ownership is overrated.
6. You will eventually turn into your mother, but will be the last one to see it.
7. Do something that you've never done every year on your birthday.
8. Meditation in underrated.
9. When you have your health, you have everything.
10. No matter what anybody says, High School is not the best years of your life.
11. Don't believe what fashion magazines claim as "beauty".
12. My dog will always love me just the way I am.
13. Life is not fair, get over it.
14. You can have anything you want, you just can't have everything.
15. If you put 80% into a relationship the other person can only put in 20%.
16. Always check yourself in the mirror when leaving a bathroom.
17. Lipstick makes me feel like I got my "face" on.
18. You can't help others until you've taken care of yourself first.
19. Expensive shampoo is better than cheap shampoo.
20. Floss.
21. You don't always have to win or be right all the time.
22. Change is good.
23. Laugh at yourself at least once a day.
24. Your first instinct is usually right.
25. No is a complete answer.
26. Question authority.
27. Always max out a slot machine, because if you win you win big!
28. Sometime in your life, visit Venice, Italy. It's magical!
29. Be the calmest one in the room in a crisis.
30. The most dangerous part of a flight is the drive to the airport.
31. Afternoon Tea at the Hotel Bel Air is priceless.
32. I'm blessed to have the greatest friends in my life.
33. Take a vacation.
34. Hawaii is more beautiful than I ever imagined.
35. Be tolerant.
36. Take an art class. You might be surprised at your hidden talents.
37. Take time to enjoy a beautiful sunset.
38. Life experience is something you can't learn in school.
39. When faced with a difficult situation, feel the fear and do it anyway.
40. Quit smoking. It's the best gift you can give yourself and your loved ones.
41. Buy yourself flowers.
42. The rug can be pulled out from your feet at any time so learn how to fall gracefully.
43. Be a girl scout, always be prepared.
44. Being present at someone's birth or death is an honor.
45. The biggest lessons come from the worse mistakes.
46. Do what you love and love what you do.
47. Splurge and fly first class at least once in your life.
48. Create your own luck.
49. You can't change someone's action you can only change your reaction.
50. Age is only a number, it's not what's in your heart.
Happy Birthday to Me!
1. Be kind, especially to yourself.
2. There are always two sides to every story.
3. Being raised by "carnie folk" wasn't so bad.
4. Be patient with your parents.
5. Home ownership is overrated.
6. You will eventually turn into your mother, but will be the last one to see it.
7. Do something that you've never done every year on your birthday.
8. Meditation in underrated.
9. When you have your health, you have everything.
10. No matter what anybody says, High School is not the best years of your life.
11. Don't believe what fashion magazines claim as "beauty".
12. My dog will always love me just the way I am.
13. Life is not fair, get over it.
14. You can have anything you want, you just can't have everything.
15. If you put 80% into a relationship the other person can only put in 20%.
16. Always check yourself in the mirror when leaving a bathroom.
17. Lipstick makes me feel like I got my "face" on.
18. You can't help others until you've taken care of yourself first.
19. Expensive shampoo is better than cheap shampoo.
20. Floss.
21. You don't always have to win or be right all the time.
22. Change is good.
23. Laugh at yourself at least once a day.
24. Your first instinct is usually right.
25. No is a complete answer.
26. Question authority.
27. Always max out a slot machine, because if you win you win big!
28. Sometime in your life, visit Venice, Italy. It's magical!
29. Be the calmest one in the room in a crisis.
30. The most dangerous part of a flight is the drive to the airport.
31. Afternoon Tea at the Hotel Bel Air is priceless.
32. I'm blessed to have the greatest friends in my life.
33. Take a vacation.
34. Hawaii is more beautiful than I ever imagined.
35. Be tolerant.
36. Take an art class. You might be surprised at your hidden talents.
37. Take time to enjoy a beautiful sunset.
38. Life experience is something you can't learn in school.
39. When faced with a difficult situation, feel the fear and do it anyway.
40. Quit smoking. It's the best gift you can give yourself and your loved ones.
41. Buy yourself flowers.
42. The rug can be pulled out from your feet at any time so learn how to fall gracefully.
43. Be a girl scout, always be prepared.
44. Being present at someone's birth or death is an honor.
45. The biggest lessons come from the worse mistakes.
46. Do what you love and love what you do.
47. Splurge and fly first class at least once in your life.
48. Create your own luck.
49. You can't change someone's action you can only change your reaction.
50. Age is only a number, it's not what's in your heart.
Happy Birthday to Me!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Road Blocks Are For Sissies!
The Revlon Walk was yesterday and I thought I would share the letter I am sending off to the organization regarding my experience. I want to thank everybody who donated money for the cure for women's cancers. Although I did not officially do the walk, I did get one in! I'm expecting a form letter back, but I'll keep you posted.
To Whom It May Concern,
I signed up for the Revlon Walk after my disappointment with the organizational skills with the Avon Walk For The Cure. I knew friends who had done the Revlon walk in the past so I knew it would be a great event. Also, my sister Janet died in 2001, at the age of 44 to Colon Cancer so it had double meaning for me. I raised over $1500, got my t-shirt a few weeks early so I could write the names of friends and family, battling or who had battled with cancer and left my house at 6:45am to pick up my friend and then take the short 20 min ride downtown. I thought I had left in plenty of time. Boy, was I mistaken! I hit the traffic at aprox. 7:25am a mile before the off ramp for Exposition Park. We did not get off the freeway until 8:25am. One full hour on the freeway. We then traveled a painful 50 minutes up MLK to Vermont only to find that all the parking was full. There was nobody there to tell us if there was an overflow lot. No information at all. We drove up to Normandie hoping that there would be some signs to direct us to the event, but no luck. The race had started and we were in an "unfamiliar", not so safe, part of Los Angeles with no direction to go except north to the 10 freeway.
I'm disappointed on a few levels. The first at myself for not anticipating that kind of crowd. The second to Revlon/EIF for not realizing that there were a ton of people that would not only be able to do the walk, but also would not be at the finish line to see the vendors and get more information on Woman's Cancers. Isn't that really what the event is all about? Raising money and awareness? I feel a bit cheated out of the experience. I don't regret raising the money because I know it's going to a great cause, but next time, if there is a next time, I'll know to come extra early just to find a parking spot.
My suggestion to you is that you should pre sell parking passes to specific lots so that everyone won't be traveling to the same place at the same time and participants will know that there is a parking spot specifically for them. No walker/runner left behind should be your motto for the next one. I know I wasn't the only one who turned around and headed home.
And just for the record, we did do a walk around Lake Balboa. I wore my shirt with the names I had written on it the night before and still honored my friends and famliy, but it would have been nice to cross that finish line at the Colosseum. Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.
Alyson Moore
To Whom It May Concern,
I signed up for the Revlon Walk after my disappointment with the organizational skills with the Avon Walk For The Cure. I knew friends who had done the Revlon walk in the past so I knew it would be a great event. Also, my sister Janet died in 2001, at the age of 44 to Colon Cancer so it had double meaning for me. I raised over $1500, got my t-shirt a few weeks early so I could write the names of friends and family, battling or who had battled with cancer and left my house at 6:45am to pick up my friend and then take the short 20 min ride downtown. I thought I had left in plenty of time. Boy, was I mistaken! I hit the traffic at aprox. 7:25am a mile before the off ramp for Exposition Park. We did not get off the freeway until 8:25am. One full hour on the freeway. We then traveled a painful 50 minutes up MLK to Vermont only to find that all the parking was full. There was nobody there to tell us if there was an overflow lot. No information at all. We drove up to Normandie hoping that there would be some signs to direct us to the event, but no luck. The race had started and we were in an "unfamiliar", not so safe, part of Los Angeles with no direction to go except north to the 10 freeway.
I'm disappointed on a few levels. The first at myself for not anticipating that kind of crowd. The second to Revlon/EIF for not realizing that there were a ton of people that would not only be able to do the walk, but also would not be at the finish line to see the vendors and get more information on Woman's Cancers. Isn't that really what the event is all about? Raising money and awareness? I feel a bit cheated out of the experience. I don't regret raising the money because I know it's going to a great cause, but next time, if there is a next time, I'll know to come extra early just to find a parking spot.
My suggestion to you is that you should pre sell parking passes to specific lots so that everyone won't be traveling to the same place at the same time and participants will know that there is a parking spot specifically for them. No walker/runner left behind should be your motto for the next one. I know I wasn't the only one who turned around and headed home.
And just for the record, we did do a walk around Lake Balboa. I wore my shirt with the names I had written on it the night before and still honored my friends and famliy, but it would have been nice to cross that finish line at the Colosseum. Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.
Alyson Moore
Monday, April 25, 2011
Those Feelings Don't Taste So Good
I've been feeling a little sad lately. I'm turning 50 and the two most important women in my life who helped to make me the woman I am today won't be there to share in the celebration. They won't be there to take care of the details and they won't be there to take care of me. I'm not depressed, I'm just sad. Let me explain the difference.
I once read an article about Gloria Steinem where she talked getting married. She had always said that "marriage was the model for slavery in this country." She explained her change in attitude toward marriage, saying "I didn't change. Marriage changed. We spent 30 years in the United States changing the marriage laws. If I had married when I was supposed to get married, I would have lost my name, my legal residence, my credit rating, many of my civil rights. That's not true anymore. It's possible to make an equal marriage." So when she was 66 she got married to David Bale, Christian's father, an environmental animal activist. They were married for almost 3 years and then he died of brain lymphoma. She was devastated. She said that her friends would come around and tell her that she needed to get out and that she was depressed, but she said "I wasn't depressed. I was sad." She explained the difference so eloquently. "When you are depressed you don't care about anything and nothing matters, but when you are sad everything matters and everything is poignant."
I know that was a long explanation, but I tell that story a lot. I was a young girl when Gloria Steinem first came into the public eye, but I remember how powerful her presence was. Subconsciously I know she had an impact on my life because from a very young age I never thought that I would just get married and be a housewife (not that there's anything wrong with that!). I always thought I would have a career and was really attracted to male dominated fields. If they can do it so can I! My mother really inspired me to become my own person. She was always encouraging me to be brave and break out of the mold. Whether it was a career choice or fashion choice, she was always on my side. She was my biggest fan.
In my sadness I've been neglecting my commitments I've made to myself. I feel like I've "hopped" off the wagon. Get it. With Easter and all. "Hopped." Anyway, I had Easter and two birthday parties to attend this past week and a Bunco party and I can feel it on my hips and thighs. I made not such great choices like buying those Cadbury Mini Chocolate Easter Eggs or the triple cream brie cheese that ate BEFORE Easter brunch. I just really ate too much, not all at one sitting, but through out the week snacking, like I use to do.
I guess the key here is "like I use to do", because I don't want to eat like that anymore. I don't want to live with the consequences and the weight gain. I know that I'll be a pound or two up today and we can use a pass to skip a weigh in, but I'm ready to face the scale. I have to or I'll run, just like "I use to do". This is the time to be patient with myself. I'll get the weight off. It may take a while, but that's okay. I'm not going anywhere and I've got all the time in the world.
And you know what, it's okay to feel to sad. It's not okay to use that as an excuse to "eat your feelings" or more importantly to let your feelings eat at you. So I'm back on the plan today and motivated to walk the track after my meeting. It will make me feel and look better in the long run. Making progress one step at a time.
I once read an article about Gloria Steinem where she talked getting married. She had always said that "marriage was the model for slavery in this country." She explained her change in attitude toward marriage, saying "I didn't change. Marriage changed. We spent 30 years in the United States changing the marriage laws. If I had married when I was supposed to get married, I would have lost my name, my legal residence, my credit rating, many of my civil rights. That's not true anymore. It's possible to make an equal marriage." So when she was 66 she got married to David Bale, Christian's father, an environmental animal activist. They were married for almost 3 years and then he died of brain lymphoma. She was devastated. She said that her friends would come around and tell her that she needed to get out and that she was depressed, but she said "I wasn't depressed. I was sad." She explained the difference so eloquently. "When you are depressed you don't care about anything and nothing matters, but when you are sad everything matters and everything is poignant."
I know that was a long explanation, but I tell that story a lot. I was a young girl when Gloria Steinem first came into the public eye, but I remember how powerful her presence was. Subconsciously I know she had an impact on my life because from a very young age I never thought that I would just get married and be a housewife (not that there's anything wrong with that!). I always thought I would have a career and was really attracted to male dominated fields. If they can do it so can I! My mother really inspired me to become my own person. She was always encouraging me to be brave and break out of the mold. Whether it was a career choice or fashion choice, she was always on my side. She was my biggest fan.
In my sadness I've been neglecting my commitments I've made to myself. I feel like I've "hopped" off the wagon. Get it. With Easter and all. "Hopped." Anyway, I had Easter and two birthday parties to attend this past week and a Bunco party and I can feel it on my hips and thighs. I made not such great choices like buying those Cadbury Mini Chocolate Easter Eggs or the triple cream brie cheese that ate BEFORE Easter brunch. I just really ate too much, not all at one sitting, but through out the week snacking, like I use to do.
I guess the key here is "like I use to do", because I don't want to eat like that anymore. I don't want to live with the consequences and the weight gain. I know that I'll be a pound or two up today and we can use a pass to skip a weigh in, but I'm ready to face the scale. I have to or I'll run, just like "I use to do". This is the time to be patient with myself. I'll get the weight off. It may take a while, but that's okay. I'm not going anywhere and I've got all the time in the world.
And you know what, it's okay to feel to sad. It's not okay to use that as an excuse to "eat your feelings" or more importantly to let your feelings eat at you. So I'm back on the plan today and motivated to walk the track after my meeting. It will make me feel and look better in the long run. Making progress one step at a time.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Milestones
Back down 1.6 pounds this week. I'm three weeks away from being three months on the plan and I'm 2.8 pounds away from losing 20% of my weight. Both big milestones in WW. I'm also three weeks away from the anniversary of my father's death (14 years ago!) and four weeks away from my 50th birthday. I just calculated how long a go my father died and I'm shocked how fast time is passing.
So May really starts the Milestone season for me. My father, my birthday and Mother's Day. I've always enjoyed my birthday, but it was because my mother always made a big deal for all of us on our birthdays. I am lucky to have friends to pick up the slack this year especially being a big one, but I still miss my mother and the joy it gave her to plan out a party.
Speaking of my mother, then we sail into June and the 18th is the anniversary of her death (2 years). This is a tough one of course. And her birthday, just a few weeks later on July 9th. Last year we went to Knott's Berry Farm and had my mom's favorite meal, Mrs. Knott's Chicken Dinner. This was something we did a few weeks before she died to celebrate her 80th birthday. This will be a tradition to do with whom ever wants to join and celebrate my mother's sweet spirit and love of food! My mother entertained a lot and she always took pictures of the food! She was a foodie at heart!
Also in July is my sister's birthday on the 24th. She also died a few weeks after her birthday on the 6th of August (11 years). This is also just another reminder about how much I miss her. I don't have anything I do traditionally for her, but it's never too late to start. My parent's friend had a place on Balboa Island and we would go every summer and I have such fond memories of us as kids and adults. I think I would like to start a tradition and go there at least once during the summer and walk around the island with a Balboa Bar or Frozen Banana.
Funny how we remember people and places and food! It truly is the meaning of comfort food! Fried chicken, rhubarb compote, boysenberry pie, Balboa Bars. Rosie my WW mentor says it's okay to eat these things on occasion and then she creates an occasion to have them! I can't think of a better way to honor the memories of my family than old fashioned favorites from places from my childhood. I'm going to take this occasion to remember my father and mother and sister and the great times we had as a family. I don't need to eat this stuff everyday, but on occasion works for me!
So May really starts the Milestone season for me. My father, my birthday and Mother's Day. I've always enjoyed my birthday, but it was because my mother always made a big deal for all of us on our birthdays. I am lucky to have friends to pick up the slack this year especially being a big one, but I still miss my mother and the joy it gave her to plan out a party.
Speaking of my mother, then we sail into June and the 18th is the anniversary of her death (2 years). This is a tough one of course. And her birthday, just a few weeks later on July 9th. Last year we went to Knott's Berry Farm and had my mom's favorite meal, Mrs. Knott's Chicken Dinner. This was something we did a few weeks before she died to celebrate her 80th birthday. This will be a tradition to do with whom ever wants to join and celebrate my mother's sweet spirit and love of food! My mother entertained a lot and she always took pictures of the food! She was a foodie at heart!
Also in July is my sister's birthday on the 24th. She also died a few weeks after her birthday on the 6th of August (11 years). This is also just another reminder about how much I miss her. I don't have anything I do traditionally for her, but it's never too late to start. My parent's friend had a place on Balboa Island and we would go every summer and I have such fond memories of us as kids and adults. I think I would like to start a tradition and go there at least once during the summer and walk around the island with a Balboa Bar or Frozen Banana.
Funny how we remember people and places and food! It truly is the meaning of comfort food! Fried chicken, rhubarb compote, boysenberry pie, Balboa Bars. Rosie my WW mentor says it's okay to eat these things on occasion and then she creates an occasion to have them! I can't think of a better way to honor the memories of my family than old fashioned favorites from places from my childhood. I'm going to take this occasion to remember my father and mother and sister and the great times we had as a family. I don't need to eat this stuff everyday, but on occasion works for me!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Up, Up And Away
It finally happened. I went to weigh in and I was up 0.2 pounds! Okay, so it wasn't a pound or even half a pound. I wasn't too surprised. I had gone to a Dodger game Friday night and had to have a Dodger Dog and a beer and peanuts. I wanted cotton candy, but I drew the line. I think I made the right choice between the peanuts and the cotton candy. Seriously, I had that conversation in my head. I just could not justify the sugar. The peanuts at least have some nutritional value. The truth is, I could have had both, but did I really want both? Did I want to waste my points on cotton candy when I had a wedding to go to the next day at Gordon Ramsey's The London?
This is how my brain works now. I used to think about what I was eating and knew it wasn't the best choice, but now I'm thinking about how what I want and when I want it. It sounds exhausting, but it's really becoming a habit. It's really easy to make the right choice, it's when I want something that isn't the right choice where the argument comes in. Sometimes you just have to give in to the temptation. This doesn't mean that I can eat entire pint of ice cream or a pizza pie (yum!), but it does mean that I can have a scoop of ice cream and a slice of pizza and still feel good about myself.
Saturday night was the wedding. The good thing about a reception at a hot Hotel/Restaurant is that the portions are small, but flavorful! I drank wine, ate a piece of cake and had a macaroon. It was so worth it and that's the point (literally!). You have to pick and choose. I appreciate food a lot more than I did before. It just tastes better and I'm more selective about what I eat. Not always, but most of the time. I mean sometimes, you just gotta have some beer and peanuts!
So I'm up, no surprise, but honestly, I will be on the down side next week. I'm back to my regular schedule, have no Dodger games or weddings in the future and have my eye on the prize. Doesn't mean I'll turn down any offers, I mean Easter is right around the corner. I'm just living my life differently and it feels so much better.
This is how my brain works now. I used to think about what I was eating and knew it wasn't the best choice, but now I'm thinking about how what I want and when I want it. It sounds exhausting, but it's really becoming a habit. It's really easy to make the right choice, it's when I want something that isn't the right choice where the argument comes in. Sometimes you just have to give in to the temptation. This doesn't mean that I can eat entire pint of ice cream or a pizza pie (yum!), but it does mean that I can have a scoop of ice cream and a slice of pizza and still feel good about myself.
Saturday night was the wedding. The good thing about a reception at a hot Hotel/Restaurant is that the portions are small, but flavorful! I drank wine, ate a piece of cake and had a macaroon. It was so worth it and that's the point (literally!). You have to pick and choose. I appreciate food a lot more than I did before. It just tastes better and I'm more selective about what I eat. Not always, but most of the time. I mean sometimes, you just gotta have some beer and peanuts!
So I'm up, no surprise, but honestly, I will be on the down side next week. I'm back to my regular schedule, have no Dodger games or weddings in the future and have my eye on the prize. Doesn't mean I'll turn down any offers, I mean Easter is right around the corner. I'm just living my life differently and it feels so much better.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun
I had a really good week last week and when I say good, I mean I had a good time with good friends and ate good food! I finally went to the Grilled Cheese Truck! I split a sandwich with Mary Jo called the Cheesy Mac and Rib (cheesy macaroni and cheese with bbq pulled pork and carmelized onions!) Then I split my half with Anne who got the Brie Melt (brie, fig paste and smokehouse almonds!) to top those off, we also got the Parmesan crust on each sandwich. To add to the mixture, I got a shot of tomato soup and we all split some delicious tater tots! We all ended up at Shannon's house and it turned into a fun girl's night out. It doesn't get much better, great friends, grilled cheese and wine.
The next day was a wonderful girly day, with Betsy, shopping in Pasadena. Eileen Fisher was having an in store charity event and had Porto's food and champagne. We had some champagne, but I wasn't even tempted by Porto's which is not like me all! I think a big motivator was fitting into a few medium size articles of clothing! I've known Betsy since I was 18 when we both worked at Contempo Casuals together and she is really a sister to me.
Well, I didn't think it could get much better, but Saturday night was Bunco. When I first got this group together my vision was a group of great women who not only like to have a good time, but would eventually become a support group for each other. I didn't tell any of them that, but I secretly hoped it would turn out that way and it has. I love and care about each one of these women and I feel like we all have each other's back. Bunco is always a pot luck and we have some terrific cooks! Irish Stew, Meatballs, Cheese Puffs, Vegetarian Lasagna, Pear and Goat Cheese Salad (my contribution) and all kinds of breads and appetizers. We are a foodie group! For dessert French Macaroons and mini Cupcakes. I tried it all and was not disappointed!
To top it all off I spent Sunday in Santa Barbara with Stefani and Sheila. It tuned out to be a beautiful day so we had to go Brophy Bros. on the pier and sit outside on the patio. I had a beer, fried clams and their yummy clam chowder! I can't say enough how relieved I am to have Stef and Sheila live so close to me now. It was a long 5 years apart!
My point to all this is that I had a fulfilling weekend both emotionally and physically and I still somehow lost half a pound. I think part of it was that it wasn't really about the food, okay the Grilled Cheese truck was about the food, but then it turned out to be about good friends.
I could not do this successfully without the love and support of my good friends. They are kind and and encouraging and want to see me happy. I am fortunate to have such a great group of friends in my life. Some people are lucky enough to have one or two good friends, but I can count on both hands (and maybe a couple of toes!) friends that are like family to me. I work on my friendships as hard as I work on my WW plan. I don't take either for granted and know it's a always a big pay off in the end!
The next day was a wonderful girly day, with Betsy, shopping in Pasadena. Eileen Fisher was having an in store charity event and had Porto's food and champagne. We had some champagne, but I wasn't even tempted by Porto's which is not like me all! I think a big motivator was fitting into a few medium size articles of clothing! I've known Betsy since I was 18 when we both worked at Contempo Casuals together and she is really a sister to me.
Well, I didn't think it could get much better, but Saturday night was Bunco. When I first got this group together my vision was a group of great women who not only like to have a good time, but would eventually become a support group for each other. I didn't tell any of them that, but I secretly hoped it would turn out that way and it has. I love and care about each one of these women and I feel like we all have each other's back. Bunco is always a pot luck and we have some terrific cooks! Irish Stew, Meatballs, Cheese Puffs, Vegetarian Lasagna, Pear and Goat Cheese Salad (my contribution) and all kinds of breads and appetizers. We are a foodie group! For dessert French Macaroons and mini Cupcakes. I tried it all and was not disappointed!
To top it all off I spent Sunday in Santa Barbara with Stefani and Sheila. It tuned out to be a beautiful day so we had to go Brophy Bros. on the pier and sit outside on the patio. I had a beer, fried clams and their yummy clam chowder! I can't say enough how relieved I am to have Stef and Sheila live so close to me now. It was a long 5 years apart!
My point to all this is that I had a fulfilling weekend both emotionally and physically and I still somehow lost half a pound. I think part of it was that it wasn't really about the food, okay the Grilled Cheese truck was about the food, but then it turned out to be about good friends.
I could not do this successfully without the love and support of my good friends. They are kind and and encouraging and want to see me happy. I am fortunate to have such a great group of friends in my life. Some people are lucky enough to have one or two good friends, but I can count on both hands (and maybe a couple of toes!) friends that are like family to me. I work on my friendships as hard as I work on my WW plan. I don't take either for granted and know it's a always a big pay off in the end!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Five Second Rule
I haven't done WW for a while, but I thought I remembered acknowledgments every 5 pounds. You know, first 5 pound, 10 pounds, etc. Since I'm only focusing on 5 pounds at a time it seamed like a good idea. We could celebrate my 5 pounds together! Yesterday I got to the next "5" pound goal for a grand total of 15 pound lost! At the end of every meeting, the girls in the front of the office that do the weigh ins gather all the information for the meeting and give Rosie, the team leader, the "ribbons" (which are actually paper book markers) to be handed out. They can range from 5 pounds lost to 100! So I wasn't too surprised when Rosie started handing out the 5 pound cards and she called my name, "Did you lose 5 more pounds?" yes, I did! Rosie said, "Well don't just sit there! Stand up and take notice!" So I stood up and waved my ribbon high in the air, but before my butt could touch the seat, I heard a small voice from the back of the room say "excuse me?" I didn't have to turn around. I recognised the voice, it was the OTHER Alison. "I think that's my 5 pound ribbon?" It was as if everything was in slow motion as I turned over the card that read "alison" not alyson. I handed over the card with the big "5" on it. Rosie turned to me innocently and said "Did you lose another 5 pounds this week?" Of course I had! I wasn't trying to take the other Alison's glory. Now I was feeling defensive and embarrassed. Rosie thought that my ribbon was further down in the pile since she had just started with the 5's, but after handing out every award, my name was never called. There was no ribbon for my 3rd 5 pounds. Now I was really embarrassed! The meeting ended and I slithered out. I was trying to remember the last time I felt like that. I think it was Jr. High School! The feeling was wanting to never show my face at that meeting again! I quickly realized that no body was going to remember what happened a week later, but it was a knee jerk reaction. I just wanted to go home and wallow in my misery. I had plans to go walk, but I felt like, forget it! I just want to go home and comfort myself with some chocolate! Instead, I stuck to my plan that night and walked around the mall. I even wanted to quit early, but I stuck with it and felt like I fulfilled a commitment. So I had made a fool of myself. I still had lost 15 pounds! I wasn't going to let my ego get in the way of my success!
Last night the meeting was about what we have learned while on the program and how to turn our mistakes into valuable learning lessons. Especially how not to beat ourselves up when we feel that we've been "bad". I've changed my vocabulary since I've been on WW and don't use words like "bad" or "good" when focused and unfocused are better options. So what have I learned? Well, I call it my Five Second Rule. When I eat something that wasn't the best choice or feel that I've lost focus I look at it like why let one little side step ruin 3 months of hard work. Like when you drop something on the ground and you immediately pick it up, brush it off and, depending on where it fell, go right back to business as usual. I tripped and fell, emotionally, but I picked myself up, brushed myself off, and went right back to the task at hand. I didn't need to go for comfort food to make myself feel better. I worked it out by myself and actually found some humor in it. Learning to laugh at yourself is a great gift!
I've also learned not to expect anything at the meetings in terms of a "reward". There are a lot of people to keep track of and they're bound to miss something. Besides, I'm not losing weight t o get awards. My weight loss is my reward. I'm looking forward to my continued weight loss, but if Rosie calls out "Alyson" again, I'll definitely be asking "which one?"
Last night the meeting was about what we have learned while on the program and how to turn our mistakes into valuable learning lessons. Especially how not to beat ourselves up when we feel that we've been "bad". I've changed my vocabulary since I've been on WW and don't use words like "bad" or "good" when focused and unfocused are better options. So what have I learned? Well, I call it my Five Second Rule. When I eat something that wasn't the best choice or feel that I've lost focus I look at it like why let one little side step ruin 3 months of hard work. Like when you drop something on the ground and you immediately pick it up, brush it off and, depending on where it fell, go right back to business as usual. I tripped and fell, emotionally, but I picked myself up, brushed myself off, and went right back to the task at hand. I didn't need to go for comfort food to make myself feel better. I worked it out by myself and actually found some humor in it. Learning to laugh at yourself is a great gift!
I've also learned not to expect anything at the meetings in terms of a "reward". There are a lot of people to keep track of and they're bound to miss something. Besides, I'm not losing weight t o get awards. My weight loss is my reward. I'm looking forward to my continued weight loss, but if Rosie calls out "Alyson" again, I'll definitely be asking "which one?"
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Lucky Number 13
I lost 2.2 pounds last week for a total of 13.6 pounds. I’ve been on the program now for 8 weeks and I can’t believe how fast time has gone by. It doesn’t feel like 2 months and it certainly doesn’t feel like I’ve lost 53 sticks of butter. I know my body has changed because I now can fit into jeans that are one size smaller, but I don’t feel it yet and I really don’t see it physically.
Where I do see it is in unusual places like my trash. I know it sounds strange, but I don’t have a full trash can every week. That’s saying something for the environment! And my wallet seams to stay fuller longer. Making my own lunch has made a big difference with my budget. I never thought I would be a “bring your lunch to work” kind of gal, but not only do I bring my own lunch, I look forward to it! I now find other ways to socialize at work. That part was difficult for me, because I work in a studio with only 2 other people and I really enjoyed going to the commissary and seeing everybody, but now I bring my own and sit out in the patio with my worker friends.
Making a commitment to myself and keeping it is a big thing for me. I could easily make a commitment to anyone else, but when it came to myself I always put myself last. I was never my first priority. What a big lesson. You know when your on an airplane and they go through the emergency shtick about putting your mask on first before you can help someone else? I never had time to put my mask on. It’s amazing how long you can go without any air.
My changes are coming from the inside first. I have to get use to feeling different. I’m still astonished that I’ve not only stuck to losing the weight, but that it’s actually working. I just thought I would always bethis that way. I will never underestimate myself again. All I have to do is stay on point and keep track. It’s sounds so simple, but not always easy to do. I’ve learned this week that the less I think about it the more weight I lose. Stop thinking about it and just do it! For once it’s nice not to worry about how and why it works, it just does. I’ll leave that up to all those people that WW pays the big bucks to figure out. As for me? I’ll just relax with a glass of wine (4oz=4 points) and a bowl of my favorite salty/sweet Popcorner Kettle Chips (28g. = 3 points).
Where I do see it is in unusual places like my trash. I know it sounds strange, but I don’t have a full trash can every week. That’s saying something for the environment! And my wallet seams to stay fuller longer. Making my own lunch has made a big difference with my budget. I never thought I would be a “bring your lunch to work” kind of gal, but not only do I bring my own lunch, I look forward to it! I now find other ways to socialize at work. That part was difficult for me, because I work in a studio with only 2 other people and I really enjoyed going to the commissary and seeing everybody, but now I bring my own and sit out in the patio with my worker friends.
Making a commitment to myself and keeping it is a big thing for me. I could easily make a commitment to anyone else, but when it came to myself I always put myself last. I was never my first priority. What a big lesson. You know when your on an airplane and they go through the emergency shtick about putting your mask on first before you can help someone else? I never had time to put my mask on. It’s amazing how long you can go without any air.
My changes are coming from the inside first. I have to get use to feeling different. I’m still astonished that I’ve not only stuck to losing the weight, but that it’s actually working. I just thought I would always be
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
I Told You So
We love to prove ourselves right. “I told you so” is a phrase we learn early on in our life. It reinforces the thinking that we can’t do something and we will fail if we try. It raises every excuse in the book.
But with every failure there is a success.
I lost focus last week. The week started out great! I won a Golden Reel Award from my peers for “Inception” and for the first time in along time, I had a fun time at the award dinner. I saw people I haven’t seen in years and I felt terrific. I had a confidence that had been lacking for awhile now both personally and professionally. There were many gifts that night and I was open to receiving them.
Then monday was my WW meeting and I had exceeded my goal of 10 lbs to 11.5 total! Another great evening, feeling pretty good about myself, but as the week went on I found myself having to deal with some stressful events and by Friday night I was eating 3 pieces of pizza. I knew what I was doing and I enjoyed myself at the time, but I knew I would have to pay the price. Sure enough, yesterday I had not gained or lost a pound. I was the same exact weight as the Monday before. I was happy that I didn’t gain anything, but I was disappointed in myself for not losing.
But I had gained something, I gained the knowledge of knowing that every action has a reaction. Even if you’re not honest with yourself, the truth will always prevail. Cheating on your diet is only cheating on yourself. I know that I have what it takes to be successful in losing this weight, but sometimes you have to take a step back to see the whole picture. I also had lost something too. I lost the excuses that I always used to protect myself from feeling like a failure. I lost the negative inner dialogue. I wasn’t going to let a few bad days undo all the hard work I had done for weeks. I started right back on my diet and have kept moving forward. I still expect to lose another 5 lbs. by the end of the month. My goals have not changed, but my attitude has. As Rosie pointed out yesterday, the word Attitude adds up to 100. You have to do the program 100 percent or it won’t work. Trust me on this one. Measure and count your points. It’s very simple.
You just have to do the math!
But with every failure there is a success.
I lost focus last week. The week started out great! I won a Golden Reel Award from my peers for “Inception” and for the first time in along time, I had a fun time at the award dinner. I saw people I haven’t seen in years and I felt terrific. I had a confidence that had been lacking for awhile now both personally and professionally. There were many gifts that night and I was open to receiving them.
Then monday was my WW meeting and I had exceeded my goal of 10 lbs to 11.5 total! Another great evening, feeling pretty good about myself, but as the week went on I found myself having to deal with some stressful events and by Friday night I was eating 3 pieces of pizza. I knew what I was doing and I enjoyed myself at the time, but I knew I would have to pay the price. Sure enough, yesterday I had not gained or lost a pound. I was the same exact weight as the Monday before. I was happy that I didn’t gain anything, but I was disappointed in myself for not losing.
But I had gained something, I gained the knowledge of knowing that every action has a reaction. Even if you’re not honest with yourself, the truth will always prevail. Cheating on your diet is only cheating on yourself. I know that I have what it takes to be successful in losing this weight, but sometimes you have to take a step back to see the whole picture. I also had lost something too. I lost the excuses that I always used to protect myself from feeling like a failure. I lost the negative inner dialogue. I wasn’t going to let a few bad days undo all the hard work I had done for weeks. I started right back on my diet and have kept moving forward. I still expect to lose another 5 lbs. by the end of the month. My goals have not changed, but my attitude has. As Rosie pointed out yesterday, the word Attitude adds up to 100. You have to do the program 100 percent or it won’t work. Trust me on this one. Measure and count your points. It’s very simple.
You just have to do the math!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Girl Scouts Honor
Friday night we had a blackout. The lights went out at 7:30pm (prime time!) and didn't come on again until 11pm. I had just finished dinner, had a roaring fire going and was completely snuggled in for the night. There was a storm a brewing outside so I was ready for an evening watching movies and catching up on my recorded shows. Thankfully I have plenty of candles and I knew where the matches were, but my flashlights all needed batteries. I was mostly prepared, but would I have been prepared if this were a real disaster like an earthquake? Not really. I'm pretty proud of the fact that I was a Girl Scout. It made a real impact on me. I'm usually the one who always has a bandaid in her purse. I like the motto "always prepared" and I still help old ladies across the street. It made me think about what I have to do to get ready. Bottled water, food for me AND for Riley and the cats, batteries, a wrench by the gas valve and a bag packed with a pair of shoes, socks, underwear, sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Sounds like a lot, right? These are just the basics. Think about it, what would you to survive a week?
It's really helped me to be successful in my new eating plan. In the morning, before I go to work, I get all my food ready for the eight hour day. Everything I eat will generally be in that bag. An apple and banana for a snack that I usually pair with Sunflower seed butter and little prepackaged pieces of cheese I keep at work, Arugula (I keep Grape seed oil and Rice vinegar at work as well), Lean Cuisine and these great single serving veggie containers from Green Giant that are an awesome addition to a meal or alone between meals and a little something sweet, either a WW 2 point bar or a little square of chocolate. I'm also fortunate to have a Starbucks at work so if I need a pick me up I can get a short latte. By the way, did you know that Starbucks has a "short" option? It's a perfect size if you don't want a lot of milk. It's a lot of food, but it's what I need to get through my day. I know what I have to eat and can manage it better that if I were just flying by the seat of my pants. I try to eat every 1 1/2 to 2 hours and try not to get too hungry. When I get home I tend to eat dinner earlier in the night which is so much better for me. Although I am snacking all day long, it's on things that are healthier for me and not just food that's filling me up.
Being prepared not only makes me feel in control, but it gives me a sense of accomplishment because it works! I'm less than a pound away from my 10lb total loss. I have a black tie event tonight so we'll see what tomorrows weigh in brings. I hope to be onto my next goal of 5 more pounds!
It's really helped me to be successful in my new eating plan. In the morning, before I go to work, I get all my food ready for the eight hour day. Everything I eat will generally be in that bag. An apple and banana for a snack that I usually pair with Sunflower seed butter and little prepackaged pieces of cheese I keep at work, Arugula (I keep Grape seed oil and Rice vinegar at work as well), Lean Cuisine and these great single serving veggie containers from Green Giant that are an awesome addition to a meal or alone between meals and a little something sweet, either a WW 2 point bar or a little square of chocolate. I'm also fortunate to have a Starbucks at work so if I need a pick me up I can get a short latte. By the way, did you know that Starbucks has a "short" option? It's a perfect size if you don't want a lot of milk. It's a lot of food, but it's what I need to get through my day. I know what I have to eat and can manage it better that if I were just flying by the seat of my pants. I try to eat every 1 1/2 to 2 hours and try not to get too hungry. When I get home I tend to eat dinner earlier in the night which is so much better for me. Although I am snacking all day long, it's on things that are healthier for me and not just food that's filling me up.
Being prepared not only makes me feel in control, but it gives me a sense of accomplishment because it works! I'm less than a pound away from my 10lb total loss. I have a black tie event tonight so we'll see what tomorrows weigh in brings. I hope to be onto my next goal of 5 more pounds!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Point Envy
My friend started WW about a week after me. We’ve been comparing notes and recipes and just giving each other lots of encouragement. The problem is that my friend gets almost twice as many points as I do! I have trouble just keeping mine at 29, but my friend gets a whole 52 a week! Plain and simple, I have point envy. We laugh about it, but it’s been hard trying to figure out how my friend can eat all their points. It’s interesting how difficult it is to eat 52 points and be healthy. I mean, eat a few candy bars and cheese burger and you’ve got it covered, but to eat 52 healthy points is a challenge. Now here a few things I didn’t tell you. My friend is a man. Men have it a little easier than woman do. They cut out desserts for a week and lose 5lbs. I can imagine how hard it is when your trying to lose weight and your partner isn’t. It’s difficult enough with my own temptations, but ad another person’s to the equation and yikes!
Helping out my friend is really great for me. It’s as if I’m also speaking to my “inner” self and confirming that the plan works, as long as you’re doing it. It’s also nice to have someone to talk to about new food finds and recipes. I made some delicious Cherry Brownies from a recipe I got from Hungry Girl and he’s making some great meals from these Shirataki noodles that are zero points! I found out about the Green Giant steamers from him and then I found the single serving size. They are a great way to get your vegetables and they are a tasty 1 point serving. This weekend we’re both going out to eat so we helped each other figure out what the best options are.
One of my goals is to be off my high blood pressure medications. It’s not about losing weight as much as it is about being healthy. We’re really motivating each other. What a great gift you can give a friend. It’s no calories and fits every size. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!
Helping out my friend is really great for me. It’s as if I’m also speaking to my “inner” self and confirming that the plan works, as long as you’re doing it. It’s also nice to have someone to talk to about new food finds and recipes. I made some delicious Cherry Brownies from a recipe I got from Hungry Girl and he’s making some great meals from these Shirataki noodles that are zero points! I found out about the Green Giant steamers from him and then I found the single serving size. They are a great way to get your vegetables and they are a tasty 1 point serving. This weekend we’re both going out to eat so we helped each other figure out what the best options are.
One of my goals is to be off my high blood pressure medications. It’s not about losing weight as much as it is about being healthy. We’re really motivating each other. What a great gift you can give a friend. It’s no calories and fits every size. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!
Monday, February 7, 2011
The Oprah Factor
A few years ago when Oprah was celebrating her 50th birthday, she got into incredible shape. She said that she didn't want to be "fat and 50!" Her desire and motivation over rode her years of struggling with her weight and she looked amazing. I remember talking to my therapist about Oprah and how she motivated herself to lose weight. My therapist said 5 little words that struck me: "Do not compare yourself to Oprah". She proceeded to explain that Oprah is not like you and me. She never has to go to the market and shop for food, (she doesn't even have to drive!) she doesn't have to prepare a meal, (not to say she never cooks, but she did have her trainer/nutrition Bob live with her) and she doesn't have the same stresses that the average woman has. Not that she doesn't have problems, but her life is managed a lot more closely that mine is. Her point was that Oprah talks to her audience as if they are all in the same boat with her, unfortunately she's in a yacht and I'm in a row boat. I know she still struggles with her weight, but she went through a period, when she was thin, where she didn't have much empathy anyone. That's when I stopped watching her. It was as if she had conquered her demons and had little patience for those still fighting their demons. Of course, as we all know, Oprah's weight came back. This time she blamed it on her thyroid. Accountability is all I ask for. So if Oprah still struggles, and let's face it, she can pay somebody to feed her by hand, what chance do I have? I think it just goes to show that even if you have all the money in the world, there are some things that we all still have in common. I realized that I was not being empathetic to Oprah. Weight struggle is universal. It knows no boundaries.
It got me to thinking about how we compare ourselves to other people. Why can my friend Tyson eat an entire bag of cookies and gain no weight and I eat two and I gain a pound? You know why? Because, as my mother always said, life's not fair. It really helps when you're having a pity party for yourself to repeat those words. I have no control over the fact that Tyson can eat whatever he wants, but I do have control over what I put in my mouth. So life isn't fair. Boo Hoo! Now pick yourself off the floor and take that cookie out of your mouth and stop blaming everyone else. It's no ones fault that my metabolism isn't that of a super model. The fact of the matter is that I come from a long line of curvy women so lucky me! I will embrace those curves, I just want them in the right places.
So my message to you and Oprah and myself is to take responsibility for yourself, be kind to yourself and stop comparing yourself to other people. Life is tough enough without beating yourself up. If you fall off the horse, dust yourself off and get right back on and while your at it, don't forget to forgive the horse.
It got me to thinking about how we compare ourselves to other people. Why can my friend Tyson eat an entire bag of cookies and gain no weight and I eat two and I gain a pound? You know why? Because, as my mother always said, life's not fair. It really helps when you're having a pity party for yourself to repeat those words. I have no control over the fact that Tyson can eat whatever he wants, but I do have control over what I put in my mouth. So life isn't fair. Boo Hoo! Now pick yourself off the floor and take that cookie out of your mouth and stop blaming everyone else. It's no ones fault that my metabolism isn't that of a super model. The fact of the matter is that I come from a long line of curvy women so lucky me! I will embrace those curves, I just want them in the right places.
So my message to you and Oprah and myself is to take responsibility for yourself, be kind to yourself and stop comparing yourself to other people. Life is tough enough without beating yourself up. If you fall off the horse, dust yourself off and get right back on and while your at it, don't forget to forgive the horse.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Can You Spare A Little Change?
Real life reared it's ugly head yesterday and sent my dear friend Mary Jo to the emergency room with a burst appendix. The whole ordeal lasted almost 12 hours and I'm sure felt like a life time to Mary Jo. She came through it great, but they said if it had happened 30 years ago she probably would have died. It brought back a lot of memories for me sitting in emergency rooms with my sister when she had colon cancer or with my mother when she was suffering from her pulmonary hypertension. By the time I got out of the hospital I was hungry not only physically, but emotionally. My friend Shannon and I went out to a restaurant and I knew that I just didn't want to worry about the points. I just wanted to eat my dinner and enjoy a beer. In my head I knew that I was overindulging a bit, but because I was aware of how I was feeling I allowed myself to do it while still feeling in control. I had a steak, but instead of fries I had potato wedges. I didn't clean my plate, but I did drink my entire beer and it wasn't "lite". What a rebel!
It's hard sometimes, not to fall back into old habits. We find comfort in the familiar so change is uncomfortable. When something changes in our lives that we have no control over we try to surround ourselves with things that will make us feel better. We tend to eat things that give us that immediate gratification. It's a false sense of control. The truth is that in the long run it makes you feel more out of control because you've let your emotions over ride your rational thinking. I know those fries aren't good for me and I will regret eating them...later...but right now, it's going to make me feel better. Unfortunately, that doesn't work. In the long run, we continue to "pay" for those fries months and even years later. It's like credit card debt. I think I'm still paying for something I bought back in 2000 for $25 only now at the inflated price of $50 including interest. All you're left with is a lot of extra stuff that will follow you around your whole life until you decide to let it go.
I really wanted to go for some comfort and I did, I just didn't over do it. We are all human and we won't always make the right choices, but being aware is half the battle. The thought of not carrying around this weight both physically and mentally is my saving grace. Everyday I make a choice to change my life for the better. It's not always easy, but I find that I'm nicer to myself and more at peace. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
It's hard sometimes, not to fall back into old habits. We find comfort in the familiar so change is uncomfortable. When something changes in our lives that we have no control over we try to surround ourselves with things that will make us feel better. We tend to eat things that give us that immediate gratification. It's a false sense of control. The truth is that in the long run it makes you feel more out of control because you've let your emotions over ride your rational thinking. I know those fries aren't good for me and I will regret eating them...later...but right now, it's going to make me feel better. Unfortunately, that doesn't work. In the long run, we continue to "pay" for those fries months and even years later. It's like credit card debt. I think I'm still paying for something I bought back in 2000 for $25 only now at the inflated price of $50 including interest. All you're left with is a lot of extra stuff that will follow you around your whole life until you decide to let it go.
I really wanted to go for some comfort and I did, I just didn't over do it. We are all human and we won't always make the right choices, but being aware is half the battle. The thought of not carrying around this weight both physically and mentally is my saving grace. Everyday I make a choice to change my life for the better. It's not always easy, but I find that I'm nicer to myself and more at peace. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Knock, Knock...
Last night my WW guru Rosie, who is just fabulous, asked me what's going to make this time different from any other time I've tried to lose weight. You know, I had to really think about it. When I first started the program a couple of weeks ago my first reaction was not to tell anyone. It would just be my little secret. Eventually my friends would figure it out because I would have lost a ton of weight and, best of all, I would have done it all by myself. What was I thinking? I was thinking that if I didn't tell anybody I wouldn't have to be accountable if I was a failure. Everything I put in my mouth wouldn't be judged. If I don't admit it then it must not be true. I had to really take a leap of faith and put it all out there. So what did I do? I started a blog. At first I only told a few close friends and family. I figured if I failed again, only a few people would know about it, but after a few submissions something changed. My friends were giving me this wonderful feedback about how much they enjoyed my writing and how I was inspiring them in their own lives. It was such a confidence booster. I realized that someone's always willing help you open that door, but you have to knock or no one knows you're there. I wasn't use to asking for help. I have a great circle of friends and family I just simply didn't know how to ask. The other night at the meeting when I was telling my story about taking care of my family and finally taking time to take of myself, they all applauded. It was really overwhelming. I felt like they embraced what I was talking about and I felt safe.
So here's a little story that really explains best why I think it's going to work this time. I went to Hawaii a few years ago and my friends wanted to go snorkeling. I had never done it before and was really looking forward to hanging out in the water checking out all the amazing fish. My friends were really patient with me. One of them held my hand while I tried to float and stick my face under water. I'm claustrophobic and this was just too much for me. We tried and tried, but I couldn't do it! I was about to give up and then I had a little conversation with myself. I said "do I really want to do this?" I really thought about it. Finally, I understood that it wasn't fear standing in my way, it was me. I thought "yes! I really want to do this!" So I put the mask back on and went for it! It was truly incredible and I'm so glad I did it. It was an empowering experience and a lesson I often use.
So why is this time different? I'm opening myself up for success, not failure. I feel the love from perfect strangers and I like it! I comfort myself with friends, not food. I give myself time to feel hungry and know that it will pass. I plan my meals, but I don't obsess. I knock on doors and know that someone will answer, but most importantly, it's something I really want to do it.
How did I do last week? I lost 4 lbs, not bad for a somebody who was having a tough go at it. My grand total is 7 lbs. so far. I'm not just feeling thinner, but I'm also feeling the weight of world finally lifting off my shoulders.
So here's a little story that really explains best why I think it's going to work this time. I went to Hawaii a few years ago and my friends wanted to go snorkeling. I had never done it before and was really looking forward to hanging out in the water checking out all the amazing fish. My friends were really patient with me. One of them held my hand while I tried to float and stick my face under water. I'm claustrophobic and this was just too much for me. We tried and tried, but I couldn't do it! I was about to give up and then I had a little conversation with myself. I said "do I really want to do this?" I really thought about it. Finally, I understood that it wasn't fear standing in my way, it was me. I thought "yes! I really want to do this!" So I put the mask back on and went for it! It was truly incredible and I'm so glad I did it. It was an empowering experience and a lesson I often use.
So why is this time different? I'm opening myself up for success, not failure. I feel the love from perfect strangers and I like it! I comfort myself with friends, not food. I give myself time to feel hungry and know that it will pass. I plan my meals, but I don't obsess. I knock on doors and know that someone will answer, but most importantly, it's something I really want to do it.
How did I do last week? I lost 4 lbs, not bad for a somebody who was having a tough go at it. My grand total is 7 lbs. so far. I'm not just feeling thinner, but I'm also feeling the weight of world finally lifting off my shoulders.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Learning Curves Ahead
Going out to restaurants and food trucks is a big source of entertainment for me. I love going out with friends. I love to sip on a cocktail, have great conversation and eat wonderful food. It's a whole package for me. What can I say, I'm a foodie whose trying to lose weight. It's a tough combination, especially when you're trying to change how and what you eat. In the beginning of anything you're trying to succeed at, it's best to avoid temptation until you've got a few weeks under your belt. Not to say you can't go out and have a meal, but it's best when you can plan ahead. I read in my WW book that if your going out with friends and it's about the visit then don't make it about the food, but if it's about the food then go for it! They give you extra point a week to use anyway you wish. If you know you're going to a party or out to an event, use all your points for that and don't worry about it.
I know I was going out dinner with friends, but we were also going to a restaurant that was famous for their ribs so it was a go for it night. Planning ahead is what makes all the difference. The problem for me was that I had a birthday brunch at the end of the week and wanted to save a few points for that as well.
The week started out bad. I forgot my lunch. No worries, but that was also the night I was going out to dinner. We went for Thai that day and I have to say I restrained myself from that delicious peanut sauce and didn't rack up too many points. Dinner was actually a breeze, because I was prepared. I had the ribs (yummy!) and took them home and had the rest over two more lunches that week. Left overs are not my favorite so that was a huge for me! The next day I unexpectedly had dinner at an iltalian restaurant with my nephew nad his family and my old frenemy pizza. Pizza is my go to food that I'm always in the mood for. I'm not much into the cheese factor, but I love a crispy crust with just a little burnt cheese on top. This pizza was no where near that, but it was, in all it's glory, pizza. I had a slice and a lot of salad, but it was difficult not to just "go for" another slice. Even though it wasn't about the food I was making it about the food. The next day was lunch out with a client. No problem. Crab Louie salad, dressing on the side. Although, the warm sourdough bread that came to the table was difficult to pass up but I just focused on the conversation and before you knew it, the food arrived. That night was a get together at a friends house, so I ate at home knowing that I would have a glass of wine. She had ordered food for the other ladies and guess what it was? That's right, she invited my friend pizza. This time I was armed with a full stomach and it was much easier not to eat it. I did have an extra half a glass of wine and for the points (4 points for a slice of pizza or half a glass of wine) I could have had the slice of pizza so a better choice? I think so. By the time I got home Friday night from work, I was depressed and hungry. I had not eaten a lot of protein or carbs that day. I was trying to fill up on salad and fruits and veggies so that I could save my extra points for Sunday brunch, but I realized that you have to use your points for protein and not a granola bar.
It was a week of really paying attention to how I live my life. Going out for a meal on a whim. Visiting with friends and having great food. Knowing that I can pass on that piece of pizza because it will always be there tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. Feeling a little depressed and not just going for comfort food, but for food that will nourish me. I am armed and ready for brunch tomorrow. This will be about a beautiful day in Santa Barbara with my best friends and a mimosa. Nourishment for the soul taste better than a slice of pizza any day.
I know I was going out dinner with friends, but we were also going to a restaurant that was famous for their ribs so it was a go for it night. Planning ahead is what makes all the difference. The problem for me was that I had a birthday brunch at the end of the week and wanted to save a few points for that as well.
The week started out bad. I forgot my lunch. No worries, but that was also the night I was going out to dinner. We went for Thai that day and I have to say I restrained myself from that delicious peanut sauce and didn't rack up too many points. Dinner was actually a breeze, because I was prepared. I had the ribs (yummy!) and took them home and had the rest over two more lunches that week. Left overs are not my favorite so that was a huge for me! The next day I unexpectedly had dinner at an iltalian restaurant with my nephew nad his family and my old frenemy pizza. Pizza is my go to food that I'm always in the mood for. I'm not much into the cheese factor, but I love a crispy crust with just a little burnt cheese on top. This pizza was no where near that, but it was, in all it's glory, pizza. I had a slice and a lot of salad, but it was difficult not to just "go for" another slice. Even though it wasn't about the food I was making it about the food. The next day was lunch out with a client. No problem. Crab Louie salad, dressing on the side. Although, the warm sourdough bread that came to the table was difficult to pass up but I just focused on the conversation and before you knew it, the food arrived. That night was a get together at a friends house, so I ate at home knowing that I would have a glass of wine. She had ordered food for the other ladies and guess what it was? That's right, she invited my friend pizza. This time I was armed with a full stomach and it was much easier not to eat it. I did have an extra half a glass of wine and for the points (4 points for a slice of pizza or half a glass of wine) I could have had the slice of pizza so a better choice? I think so. By the time I got home Friday night from work, I was depressed and hungry. I had not eaten a lot of protein or carbs that day. I was trying to fill up on salad and fruits and veggies so that I could save my extra points for Sunday brunch, but I realized that you have to use your points for protein and not a granola bar.
It was a week of really paying attention to how I live my life. Going out for a meal on a whim. Visiting with friends and having great food. Knowing that I can pass on that piece of pizza because it will always be there tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. Feeling a little depressed and not just going for comfort food, but for food that will nourish me. I am armed and ready for brunch tomorrow. This will be about a beautiful day in Santa Barbara with my best friends and a mimosa. Nourishment for the soul taste better than a slice of pizza any day.
Monday, January 17, 2011
I Think I See The Light
I'm one week and 3 pounds down. My goal is 5 pounds a month. I don't think that's asking too much and I think it's pretty attainable. I'm learning a lot of things that I've had to learn by myself like being accountable for everything you do, whether it's what you put in your mouth or what you charge on your credit cards. You and only you are responsible, unless you're married, then you may inherit that credit card bill. So be careful if you are married! I am not married so good for me! And good for you too, because you're not married to me and don't have to be responsible for my being fiscally irresponsible, but that's another story for another day...
So I cleaned out my refrigerator on Saturday. It was full of sauces and dressings and pickles and relishes and things that I'm not quite sure how they got there, but I'm sure they served a purpose at some point in their long career in the back of the shelf. It wasn't spoiled food, it was old condiments and things like that. Really, there was nothing much to eat just a lot of food that filled the emptyvoid, I mean space. So I cleared it all out. I wish I had taken a "before" picture, because it looked like a deep dark cavern. I had no idea what was lurking in there. I was a little frightened to be perfectly honest. I'm sure I completely freaked out my house cleaner when she opened the fridge door. I can picture her just staring into the white void and wondering what happened to all that stuff? It looks great in there now. I can see everything on each freshly cleaned glass shelf. There's not much to see really, because there's not much food to look at and I like it like that! It's just filled mostly with things I'll be eating with in this week. Milk, arugula, cottage cheese, etc. I can literally see the light inside the fridge. I see the light! I think everybody should do this at least once a month, actually, maybe that's probably what most people do. I'm the only one who cleans it out once a year. Little by little I'm clearing a path in my journey to no more excess stuff! Fresh pickles and olives for everybody!
So I cleaned out my refrigerator on Saturday. It was full of sauces and dressings and pickles and relishes and things that I'm not quite sure how they got there, but I'm sure they served a purpose at some point in their long career in the back of the shelf. It wasn't spoiled food, it was old condiments and things like that. Really, there was nothing much to eat just a lot of food that filled the empty
Saturday, January 15, 2011
29 Points and Counting
So it's been 5 days and I have to say, all in all, not so bad. I realize how often I grab for just a handful of this and a couple of these and a mini one of those. It really adds up, literally! Changing the way you eat is such a mind game. You have to trick yourself into thinking that you will be satisfied with an apple and an ounce of cheddar cheese when you really would like to eat that mini Twix Bar. The funny thing is...you are satisfied for a longer time than if you stuffed that candy bar in your mouth. So it does work, you just have to be patient.
It's strange, because I lost my sweet tooth a few years ago. I use to be a chocoholic. I even worked in a candy store when I was in my early 20's called "The Nutty Chocolatier". We ate candy all day and I didn't gain any weight. I think it's because we would just taste a little of this and a little of that. One of my favorite things they did was dipped fruit, especially the dark chocolate dipped lemons. The sweetness of the chocolate with the tanginess of the lemon was a great combo.
Which explains why I got into a salty/sweet battle. You know, a couple of M&Ms and a salty pretzel...and then another M&M...pretzel...on and on. Now I just crave salty. I'm not sure why, but I think my body is telling me something, although I don't salt things. Weird.
This is the first time I've done Weight Watchers with a specific event in mind. I don't think that I'm going to make my goal by May, but I think I will have lost a big chunk. I'm excited about that. I usually get to a place and think "If I had only started that diet 6 months ago, I wouldn't be this weight right now!" I'm looking forward to the future. What a concept.
It's strange, because I lost my sweet tooth a few years ago. I use to be a chocoholic. I even worked in a candy store when I was in my early 20's called "The Nutty Chocolatier". We ate candy all day and I didn't gain any weight. I think it's because we would just taste a little of this and a little of that. One of my favorite things they did was dipped fruit, especially the dark chocolate dipped lemons. The sweetness of the chocolate with the tanginess of the lemon was a great combo.
Which explains why I got into a salty/sweet battle. You know, a couple of M&Ms and a salty pretzel...and then another M&M...pretzel...on and on. Now I just crave salty. I'm not sure why, but I think my body is telling me something, although I don't salt things. Weird.
This is the first time I've done Weight Watchers with a specific event in mind. I don't think that I'm going to make my goal by May, but I think I will have lost a big chunk. I'm excited about that. I usually get to a place and think "If I had only started that diet 6 months ago, I wouldn't be this weight right now!" I'm looking forward to the future. What a concept.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Let's Weigh The Issues
Here we go!
I started Weight Watchers yesterday. This is not the first time I have uttered these words, but it is the first time I saw that number on the scale staring back at me! Yikes! Hopefully that will be the last time I see that number, although I must say that it is a well rounded number, such as myself, and will be very easy to calculate when I will reach my 10 and 20 percent weight loss. You do not need a math degree or calculator for that matter. I'm sure we can all guess the number, but I'm still not writing it down!
So they have a new "Points Plus" system that is suppose to be revolutionary! All I know is that there is secret to dieting that most people won't tell you. Are you ready for the secret? It will change your life! Okay, here goes. The secret to losing weight? You must eat less food than you are eating right now. Doesn't even have to be healthy. I just read about some guy that lost 50lbs. on the "Twinkie Diet". Really? Really! So eat less food. Now the secret to any diet plan? Are you ready for this one? You have to do it. That's it! You just have to follow the diet and you will lose weight.
Now, nobody said it was easy. And you will be hungry from time to time, but what's wrong with being hungry? I mean, you will eat again, I promise. I think we've all gotten away from what food really tastes like. When was the last time you ate a potato without anything on it? Do you really know what a potato tastes like? It's really delicious! For me, there is an appreciation for food that I've forgotten. The pleasure of eating a really good piece of fruit or enjoying the texture of a spoonful of sweet, creamy caramel flan. I'm looking forward to re-establishing my relationship with food and trust me when I use the word "relationship".
I started Weight Watchers yesterday. This is not the first time I have uttered these words, but it is the first time I saw that number on the scale staring back at me! Yikes! Hopefully that will be the last time I see that number, although I must say that it is a well rounded number, such as myself, and will be very easy to calculate when I will reach my 10 and 20 percent weight loss. You do not need a math degree or calculator for that matter. I'm sure we can all guess the number, but I'm still not writing it down!
So they have a new "Points Plus" system that is suppose to be revolutionary! All I know is that there is secret to dieting that most people won't tell you. Are you ready for the secret? It will change your life! Okay, here goes. The secret to losing weight? You must eat less food than you are eating right now. Doesn't even have to be healthy. I just read about some guy that lost 50lbs. on the "Twinkie Diet". Really? Really! So eat less food. Now the secret to any diet plan? Are you ready for this one? You have to do it. That's it! You just have to follow the diet and you will lose weight.
Now, nobody said it was easy. And you will be hungry from time to time, but what's wrong with being hungry? I mean, you will eat again, I promise. I think we've all gotten away from what food really tastes like. When was the last time you ate a potato without anything on it? Do you really know what a potato tastes like? It's really delicious! For me, there is an appreciation for food that I've forgotten. The pleasure of eating a really good piece of fruit or enjoying the texture of a spoonful of sweet, creamy caramel flan. I'm looking forward to re-establishing my relationship with food and trust me when I use the word "relationship".
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